On the "comfy, wholesome media" discourse

So I’ve been sitting on this ask for like a week, not knowing whether or not I wanted to touch it because it kind of feels like being handed a live grenade.

For one, I don’t like being pigeonholed as someone who just likes “comfy” or “wholesome” things. Yeah, I enjoy My Little Pony and Animal Crossing. I made a game with cute furry characters and lots of bright colors. I also enjoy things like Berserk and Chainsaw Man and Doom and violent crime dramas and punk rock with vulgar lyrics and porn. Variety is the spice of life.

Anyway: I generally don’t think it’s a good idea to make sweeping statements about peoples’ moral or intellectual character based on what genres of story they enjoy, regardless of what direction you’re coming at it from. But this is a very leading question that kind of skirts around the root problems.

There’s frequent (perhaps a bit exaggerated) pushback these days against people who prefer their fiction to be a warm blanket, a form of escapism meant to distract you from the real world. In particular, the dreaded “person who only watches kids’ cartoons” is a form of this that gets brought up a lot. I don’t think the root problem here is what media people enjoy or don’t personally enjoy - taste is subjective, and I don’t think it’s a moral obligation for everyone to have diverse tastes in TV shows - but I do think some folks should try to get out of their comfort zone a bit more. Sometimes stuff that seems like it won’t be for you on a surface level will really end up speaking to you, but you won’t know until you give it a shot. Trust me, I’ve been there many times.

It becomes a problem when people demand that media ONLY cater to that “warm blanket” attitude. And I think that’s part of the reason why that stereotype you mentioned about fans of “"wholesome”“” media being assholes exists. People who view dark or violent content as an inherent flaw because it’s not what they like. People who yell at creators when they make bad things happen in their stories, because how dare you do this to my comfort characters? People who say movies should never have sex scenes. People who want “problematic” moral complexity stripped out in favor of black and white moral instruction. People who seem to hate any sort of interpersonal conflict in fiction at all.

These attitudes can be the result of many different cultural factors, factors that can’t all be traced back to Tumblr or what shows you like, but sometimes it’s definitely because of that lack of broader perspective on media. You can tell when someone’s opinions on The Right And Wrong Ways To Write Fiction were shaped almost entirely by, like, Steven Universe discourse. (Yes, this is a jab at Lily Orchard.) And when these people are very loud about their opinions, well, it becomes a trend people notice.

Like. I don’t know you. You sent this anonymously. But when you say you “complain about graphic or dark content in media you watch”… that could mean a few wildly different things! Maybe you’re just venting about something that unexpectedly triggered you, and that’s totally fine. But the wording could also imply that, like, you take issue with these things being present at all, and that you expect a person who likes “death metal and gore” to be more of a “raging asshole” than someone who likes the “wholesome” things you like. So… well, maybe you’re more dismissive or judgmental of things outside your comfort zone than you realize?

Unfortunately, in case it’s not already obvious, on the internet this shit quickly becomes a proxy battle over dozens of intersecting cultural issues at once where everyone is kinda just talking past each other. So it gets messy.

For example, I have no reason to believe that the people who run the “Wholesome Games” showcases have anything against games that are dark or violent or contain adult themes. (They’ve outright said they don’t. Many times!) But when you see people going “why is Spiritfarer allowed in the showcase? That’s a game about DEATH and that’s NOT WHOLESOME, why would you make me think about death?” or “Ugh, why does Disco Elysium have to be about a cop? Why can’t we apply these systems to a game about a young witch who’s trying to find a lost cat in an idyllic village instead?” it… Well, it makes me sympathetic towards the indies who don’t feel comfortable with the “Wholesome Games” label and consider it limiting. But it also doesn’t make me think that devs catering to a demand for more chill, nonviolent video games are categorically facilitating fascist censorship from the Christian right.

It’s complicated! The written word is imprecise and the internet is a nightmare.

I’ve kind of gone off on multiple tangents here. Basically: I do think that people can kinda turn fans of “comfy” media or “adults who only watch Bluey” into an overblown boogeyman these days. I think people online generally have a habit of swinging too hard in one direction or another in their stances on certain things, overcompensating based on what group of people online are currently annoying them the most and turning said group into like The Main Problem With Society Today. But I also think that boogeyman only exists because of very real examples of people demanding that everything cater to their narrow comfort zone. Go like what you like, but also, y'know. Don’t be that person.